We usually know when something isn’t right because our bodies tell us so. We have butterflies, or feel anxiety about whether our partner is as invested as we are. We may walk around waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or watch a movie about a cheating couple and feel extremely distressed as our own fears get triggered.
No matter what scripts we write to persuade ourselves that we have what we want and deserve, our bodies are always truthful if we will listen.
The right relationship should feel devoid of anxiety – you’ll be free of lingering doubts, and secure in the foundation you’re building with another person.
I’ve made most of these mistakes at one time or another. Most of us make them when we’re immature, and we learn through experience. But sometimes we get trapped in a mindset that devalues our own worth. When that happens, we need to stop and recover our self-esteem. We also need objectivity, so if you are having trouble seeing what’s really going on ask someone who loves you what they think. Or talk to a professional.
When we choose the wrong guys, we sabotage our own potential for contentment. We take the wrong fork in the road. I hope each one of us will find the strength to risk love but also to demand it. I urge you not to settle for anything less.
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